​Watching the funeral of George H.W. Bush, I couldn’t help but think of God’s all-encompassing love for us.
 
If you saw any bit of the ceremonies for President Bush, you could see the love.
Every little detail was thought out and lovingly planned by family and the tradition our country holds.
This guy was a big deal, just like all of our presidents. He deserved to be laid to rest respectfully.
And man, did it take a while! I had started watching before taking the kids to school, then continued while at the gym, then ran errands and came home still able to catch the last couple of hours.
This death was a big deal.
 
So will yours be.
 
Most of us will live an ordinary life. To the big world, we will not be seen as a” big deal”.
But, as Christians, we know better.
We are sons and daughters of THE King. We are great because of who God is, we are great because we are His. Not because of anything we do, but because of Him.  
God made each and every one of us simply because He wants to BE with us.
He didn’t have to create humans. He doesn’t need us. He’s God, he’s got this. He just wants us here to love us.
And that makes us a big deal.
 
As Catholics, we have carried our Lord’s body INSIDE of our body.
So, God becomes Man- for us, dies a horrible death- for us, goes up to Heaven and then comes back - for us (so far it’s sounding like we’re a big deal if God’s going through all of this just for us, just sayin’.)
But when the Eucharist is placed on your tongue…you are officially a living Tabernacle of our Lord.
…. Whoa. Baby. That is a big deal.
We went from being one with the Holy Spirit, to being ONE with Jesus.
 
We’ve heard over and over again about how important our bodies are through the gift that is Theology of the Body.
But, are we getting it? Are we truly understanding how important our bodies are?!
I don’t.
I’m learning more and more and I don’t totally get it.
How could we ever comprehend how huge of a deal our bodies are? It’s a crazy thing to comprehend!
 
And how heartbreakingly corrupt have we made our bodies out to be.
Just turn on secular radio and it won’t take long before you hear disgusting sexual lyrics.
I just want to jump inside my radio, take these musicians by the shoulder and shake them! I want to say to them, YOU are SO much more than this! The women you are talking about are SO much more than this! Your bodies have been chosen by God himself to be here right now! You are higher than this! You are holy!
 
While watching President Bush’s processions, funeral and then more processions, I wondered…at our moment of death, what does the invisible world around us look like?
Are our Guardian Angels holding their heads up to God in joy because their mission is now complete? Are there Angels and Saints all around us celebrating God’s child finally coming home to Him, giving us a beautiful heavenly procession?
Or, are our Guardian Angels weeping, head down low because we have come to the end and never realized how much of a big deal we are because of Our Father chose to create us.
 
Every single body deserves procession after procession, trumpets and glory at the end of life. Not because of anything we did (if that was the case, we wouldn’t deserve anything at all!) but, because of how much God loves us.
 
It’s so simple, it’s incomprehensible.
 
How different would this world be if we all had the teensiest bit of understanding of how big of a deal, how so very precious, we all are to God.
Man, the thought brings me to tears.
 
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

Text ©2018 Stephanie Stovall

 
In the summer of 2006, my soon-to-be youth group traveled to a Steubenville youth conference.
In September of 2006, God touched my heart at the exact time I opened it to Him, just the tiniest bit.
A rush of warmth came over and then, an explosion of sparkles and prettiness all around me (more on that some other time).  
​At that moment, I left my atheistic ways and completely gave my life over to God.
 
The next week that soon-to-be youth group became my church family, my best friends.
And all they ever talked about was Zoolander, plans for the upcoming weekend and their amazing experiences at Steubenville.
Their stories were about powerful encounters with Jesus and “the best praise and worship ever.”
Our youth group would be going on a mission trip to Mexico that upcoming summer, so me being a senior, I knew my chances of a Steubenville experience were long gone.
*Sigh*
 
Fast forward 16 years…
 
This summer I spent a weekend at a Steubenville youth conference chaperoning my parish’s youth group.
*Yes, dream come true. Thank you, thank you! Pass the Kleenex *
When I heard the youth group was in need of another female adult for the trip, I jumped at, no, attacked the chance of experiencing this conference.

Do you ever feel the excitement for your Catholic faith fading out a bit? Maybe you’ve noticed you’re beginning to simply go through the motions of your faith life without that zeal you once had. Or, maybe you’re in that dry desert stage of your relationship with God.

If you thought, “Yup, that’s me,” don’t be so sad, you’re just in need of some Catholic Caffeine!
Here are 10 Catholic treasures that are worth “googling” to help a momma out in her time of need, in no particular order.

1) Surprised by Truth by Patrick Madrid

I have an almost 11 month old “tiny” little baby.
He’s crawling and rolling all over the house and has an odd attachment to our Bluetooth speaker, which began one morning we were listening to the rosary (that’s the only thing that keeps me from freaking out about this creepy new obsession).
This little boy will be completely into his new found treasure of the moment, I’ll catch his eye from the kitchen, he’ll drop that treasure out of his mouth, mad dashes over to me, pushes himself up on his knees and stretches his arms out as far as they can go. He breaks out into the biggest, happiest smile you’ve ever seen and begs for a hug.

Ohh, my heart.
 
Starting a couple of years ago, every now and then, I’d ask for the grace to really feel and understand God as my Father, Father.
So many times I get stuck in the motions of faith and who God truly is, that I miss the depth of His love.
I have no problem referring to God as my BFF, that was where my faith began, but the Father side of God is a side of Him I really have desired a deeper connection with.
 
One of the most beautiful things about a relationship with God are the quiet, hidden moments when He reveals Himself to you with a gentle touch to your heart. The subtle, “I am here.”
 
Just the other day my tiny little baby looked up at me with those big eyes, threw his chunky arms up and gave me the cheesiest “I love you!! Hold me!” smile.
I froze. I didn’t grab his tiny little body close.
I just stared at him…but I’m telling you…it was not my tiny little baby.
It was God.
It was God taking that subtle “I am here” moment to another place.
For years now I have been hearing people ask, “Do you know God the Father?”
Because I have never referred to God as my Father in my conversations with Him, I’ve thought, “No, no I don’t know God as my Father.”
 
In that mere second with a tiny little baby, God moved like a tidal wave in my soul.
As I looked at my son, God asked me, “Why does this baby love you?’
And then, the epiphany.
My baby loves me and his Daddy because of who we are to him.
We are the people that feed him.
We are the ones that put snuggly pajamas on his body.  
We hold him tight after a bump of his head.
We give him the baths that refresh him.
We are the ones he trusts.
He loves us because he loves us.
He loves me because I am his Mommy.
He loves his Daddy because he’s his Daddy.

​Text ©Stephanie Stovall 2018

​I’m just sitting in a hospital bed waiting.  I don’t even really know exactly what I’m waiting for.  I’m waiting for my health to go south so the doctor will be forced to deliver the baby in my womb.  I’m waiting for my water to break or contractions to start; I have a history of pre-term labor, so this wouldn’t be too far-fetched.  I’m waiting for the weeks to go by to give my baby time to mature.  I’m waiting for my uterus to stretch just a little more and help that placenta get out of the way of my cervix.  I’m waiting for the day that the doctor comes in and tells me that he can deliver the baby safely and lets me in on making the call to induce or wait.  I know I’m waiting for our baby, a little girl, but the circumstances are not ideal and I’m just feeling uncertain and unsettled about how everything is playing out.
 
And I’m no stranger to uncertainty.  Thankfully, I’m not a worrier, but almost daily I’m wondering if I’m doing God’s will and what His plan for me is.  I do believe that God is with me and I know that God has a plan for me, but that doesn’t always mean I’m feeling confident or secure.
 
There are three ladies from a local parish who administer the Eucharist at this hospital.  They are such a bright spot in my days.  In addition to the Eucharist, they pray with me, tell me stories, offer me encouragement and sometimes bring prayer cards for me.  The last one who came brought me a card that really spoke to how I am feeling in this moment and the words are so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you all.

​Text © Natalie Clevenger 2018

Text ©Stephanie Stovall

​The Advent season is a time the Church asks us to slow down. We are encouraged to spend more time in prayer in preparation for the reality of the huge-ness that is our Savior’s birthday.
 
If you are a fan of St. Ignatius’ imaginative way of praying, you know that spending time in the Scriptures of that first Christmas is an impossible thing to do without looking into the eyes and heart of Mary.
 
The Church does not tell us to worship Mary and it does not tell us to hold her as high as we hold the Trinity. The Catholic Church is all about following the Ten Commandments right beside Jesus, which means we honor His Father and His mother.
 
As a cradle catholic, I’d always been aware of the love we are supposed to have for our Holy Mother- especially coming from a Hispanic background.
Every time my family traveled to Colombia we’d see shrines dedicated to Mary all along our trip. I understood. She’s a big deal.
As I grew more serious about my faith and matured in theology I understood why we hold Jesus’ mom on such a pedestal.
It all made sense in my head and I loved the idea of her.
I just didn’t know her myself. 
I would pray the rosary, but with little Marian faith or love behind it.
 
The closest I’d ever come to praying a novena was when our family would get together and pray the Christmas novenas with song and dance the nine days before Christ’s birth.
But, pray one of those serious long ones on my own? No way. I did not have enough self-control for that!
Or, I’d forget I was doing it by day three.
 
That was until I reached a moment of complete hopelessness and despair.
I had been battling an emotional situation for years and years with no moving past it in sight.
Through a miraculous little God moment, I was given a booklet on the Mary Undoer of Knots Novena.
Something about the painting on the front of the prayer book tugged at my heart.
Seeing that ribbon in such a tangled disaster on one side and then on the other side, once the ribbon passed through Mary’s hands, perfectly ironed out…it struck me.
I wanted her to untangle my darkest place.

text ©Stephanie Stovall 2017

​In an effort not to look stupid, I avoid things.  I especially avoid things that could broadcast my perceived stupidity publicly.  Like writing a blog about Jesus and Mary and being a Catholic mom.  Because, you know, the world might start hating me because I’m not smart.  My intelligent Christian friends will see how incredibly ignorant I am or worse, how bad a Christian I really am.  Other people might start to think I’m one of THOSE people who need religion to console themselves and they’ll think I’m weak and feeble minded.  Really, I could list a zillion things that keep me from being a fool for Christ but they all come down to fear. 
And I’m pretty sure Christ said, “Do NOT be afraid.” (Emphasis my own.)
A zillion times He said that.  (An exaggeration, I actually do not know how many times Jesus actually said it.)

Yesterday I was doing my reading for a study that I am doing called “Courageous Virtue” by Stacy Mitch  (it is a really wonderful study by the way) and I read Wisdom 2. 
 
Go ahead. 
 
Crack open your Bible to the second chapter of Wisdom.  I’ll wait.  If you have a Protestant Bible, well, you are missing out.  Read the second chapter of Wisdom here. 
 
I had to pick my jaw up off the floor after I read it.  Then I headed straight for the World Wide Web to find out when Wisdom was written.  Folks, it wasn’t yesterday.  It was written about 50 years before the coming of Christ.  So, for at least the last 2067 years (give or take a few), the world has been rejecting believers and embracing the “live it up now because we’ll soon be dust” mentality.  The culture of death?? Yah, I guess that’s not a new thing.
 
I almost cried when I read the misguided reasoning, “Let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless.”  (RSV, 2nd Catholic Edition)  I can’t help but think of abortion and euthanasia.  The exploitation of the poor and the exploitation of women and an amazing list of a zillion other sins that our culture embraces continue in a long train in my mind, torturously reminding me that in our great country the majority rules, even when the majority is horribly wrong and terribly misguided. 
 
And then I stopped being afraid.    The people of God of have been insulted forever and they will continue to be mocked and called stupid.  We have all been tasked with taking up our crosses and following Christ.  He didn’t say to take up our crosses but only if you feel like it, or only when you have the encouragement and support of your peers, or only if you can safely do so. 
 
So here I am, O great big Internet.  I love Jesus.
I want to share him with all of the people.  I want you to know Him.  I want you to love Him.   And I want you to share Him too.
If even just one person is stirred to crack open the Word by my post, then Jesus wins.  If even just one person turns their mind towards Christ because of some word of mine, then Jesus wins.  If even just one person wants to get to know Him better because of some feeble thing I said, then Jesus wins.  And the thing is, Jesus wins anyway, so maybe more of us can win with Him and spend eternity basking in the heavenly glow.  Yes, our bodies will someday return to dust, but they are joined to a soul that is eternal. 
 
Lord, show me the areas of my life where I am afraid to be a fool for you.  Help me live for eternity and not for the acceptance of others.  Amen
​

© Natalie Clevenger 2017

​There’s a song every Texas school kid learns as they take their first steps into an educational building.
 
“The stars at night, are big and bright
(clap clap, clap, clap , clap clap)
Deep in the heart of Texas.”
 
It’s one of those songs that as soon as the melody starts playing, your heart smiles and your memory pulls out the old Elementary School File.
You think of the 5th grade performance and that silly costume you had to wear.
You think of old friends and the ones you’ve somehow been lucky enough to have kept along the way.
You think of art class and was it, Ms. Daley? What a terrifying, wonderful woman.
 
Usually childhood memories bring comfort and joy. If you live far away from where you grew up, they mean all the more to you.
When the rain began relentlessly pouring down over Houston; those memories came rushing back with deep sadness and hurt.
Hurt for your family and friends that were living it and hurt for the places of your past.

Text ©Stephanie Stovall 2017

A couple of winters ago I was pulling out of my driveway attempting to convince myself that arriving at the gym instead of Chic-fil-a was a much better start to the day.
 
In the midst of my inner debate, catholic radio caught my attention.
I ignored the fight going on between #3 and #4 in the back seats and turned up the volume.
 
The program host was interviewing a doctor that used to perform abortions back in the day. He was sharing his conversion story and I came in when he became emotional while recalling all of the abortions he had been a part of.
You could hear the pain and disgust for himself in his heart as he spoke.
 
I turned up the volume some more.
What I heard next completely threw my world into a whirl.
 
The doctor began to talk about how he hadn’t just been a part of the abortions that occurred in his office, he had been a part of possibly thousands.
 
Huh? Without knowing? What do you mean?
 
Doctor: “ I realized that I had been an active participant in all the abortions that occurred through my prescribing of birth control. I was sick. I had to get to confession.”
 
Me to car radio: “What is he talking about?!”
 
Then the radio host and doctor start talking about how birth control can act as an abortifacient but people are not aware of this facet. Then they dove deeper into the details of how the pill actually works.
 
It was then my turn to feel sick.
I had never heard this before.
In all of my life, I had never heard that birth control could act as an abortifacient until I turned on my radio that morning. I was shocked and disgusted with myself.
 
My husband and I had been on and off the pill in between kids.
We always felt guilty, we always knew better. But, it was so much easier than any other option!
We’d use it for about 6 months and then decide we were either too guilty to stay on it or ready to be open to another baby. 
 
Yes, everything I knew about Catholic teaching on contraception should have been enough to make us dedicated NFP-ers.
The problem was, I could not trust God with all of it. I just couldn’t.
(I still have trouble with this, PS. But am relying on His grace day by day.)
 
I had very recently thrown away my birth control because I couldn’t stand going against God anymore. But after hearing that radio segment, there was no way I could go back to using the pill.
 
So, all of this brings me to…why aren’t the words “WARNING: The pill can act as an Abortifacient!” seen all over the place? They should be on billboards and all over social media! Shoot, why isn’t it in bold red letters on birth control packets?!
 
It’s one of the best kept secrets of our time.
Doctors will fight you on the truth of the pill. Many are not even aware themselves of how it truly works.
I’m telling you, best kept secret.
 
Should it be the one fact that keeps Catholics away from using the pill? Nope. However, for those stubborn ye of little faiths (ME) it could be just the thing to turn them back to living the faith.
 
I have to tell you, ever since this conviction came and God gave my husband and I the grace to be obedient to His desires, our life has changed immensely.
Is NFP challenging and hard and sucky at times? Yup. But, it has opened our hearts to hearing God like we never have before. I feel so much closer to my husband and I feel so much closer to Jesus.
 
Guess God knows what He’s talkin’ about after all.